A man and his poo
Imagine actually shitting yourself. A full grown adult. Out in public. Away from your home. Away from a toilet. Away from anywhere you should be shitting. And that’s exactly what you do. You shit. You shit yourself. And it stinks. You absolutely fucking reek. Imagine the embarrassment, the shame and whatever other feelings are conjured up from you shitting yourself. Well that is exactly what had just happened to Paul.
There was no delay. He felt his pants begin to bulge. He tried to keep his composure, to act normal and to keep on walking but he was froze on the spot. He couldn’t seem to move and his body was convulsing. The lump got bigger and bigger. It felt like a football was inflating in his pants. There was no time to manuvare the poo. It immediately fell down his trouser leg and onto the floor.
It was massive. It was one of those shits that would sink right down into the toilet bowl but still be sticking up out of the water. It was the kind of poo that left you thinking ‘I could comfortably take a massive dick up my arse’. Under normal toilet involved circumstances this would be an eventful poo. It would have taken time to work this one out, it probably would have hurt too But it didn’t, in fact it was the opposite. It was the most enjoyably satisfying poo of Paul's life. It was a huge relief. But immediately he felt absolutely disgusted with himself. His lower half was an absolute mess. He could feel it. Poo was smeared all up his leg, bits of poo were lodged in his leg hairs and were drying and sticking to his trousers. As he walked in shame his arse cheeks were squelching with wet sloppy poo.
The smell. My god the smell. Normally the smell of your own poo doesn’t bother you. But even Paul could tell this one was bad. There was small saving grace in this situation. Paul had been at work, and he had managed to rush out of the office 5 minutes early. That meant the start of the rush hour was just a few minutes away. Paul had non discreetly shit himself in the middle of a normally very busy street. But in this moment it was quiet. But in just a few minutes a whole office of people Paul works with everyday would appear and see the state Paul was in. He rushed home. He didn’t see anyone at all on his way back. That was some real fucking luck.
That evening Paul cleaned himself more than he had ever cleaned himself. But he couldn’t wash off the shame. After an awful nights sleep thinking about all the possible embarrassing potential outcomes it was time to go to work and find out if anyone new. On his way to work he saw it. He saw his poo. He could see people looking down disgusted at it as they walked around it. That feeling of disgust hit him all over again. Paul walked into the office and over to his desk. He looked around a little more than usual. People said good morning like they normally would. No said anything out of the ordinary, and no one had given him any looks. No one knew. No one knew what Paul did. He had gotten away with it. A huge sense of relief hit Paul. But it was nothing like the sense of relief that hit him yesterday. At the end of the day he left the office. And there it was. Pauls massive shit. He looked at it, and then looked at a women who was passing by. He pulled a face of disgust and shook his head. She done the same in agreement with Paul. No words were exchanged but if they were it would have been something like “Absolutely disgusting isn't it?” Paul would have said. “Yeah it is” She would have replied. Paul felt reinvigorated. A new sense of self confidence he never had before began to flare up within him. He felt like he could do anything. He had hit rock bottom and returned stronger than ever.
The next morning it was still there. That feeling of self empowerment. And the shit. He saw a couple point at it and complain about people not picking up after their dogs. It was a good feeling. Knowing something that no one else knew. Paul started to wonder what else he could get away with. His mind raced with thoughts of things he could do. He turned up to work 5 minutes late. His boss looked over like he was waiting for an explanation. Paul smiled, said good morning and sat down at his desk. And that was that. Later on he went over to the stock cupboard and grabbed a handful of pens. His pens were always going missing, and this was him taking them back. Paul spent most of his day browsing the internet instead of working. No one knew, no one cared. Then he noticed there was a small pot on the front desk. It was being used to collect small change for some mental health charity. Paul waited for the receptionist to leave her desk. As soon she did he went over and grabbed a quid from the pot. He used it to buy himself a chocolate bar from the nearby vending machine. Then when the receptionist returned he stuck the change back into the pot. The receptionist thanked him and Paul smiled and replied “Just doing my bit”. Clueless. The lot of them.
Paul was in control. He felt in control of his life and everything around him. “Be true to yourself”. Sayings like this never meant anything to Paul before. But now they meant everything. His would start to live his life by saying like these. He was going to be a more honest and assertive person. When he wakes up tomorrow with his new reinvigorated sense of self confidence. He would have no shame, no fear and no embarrassment. He would walk into that office and announce. “That’s my shit. That out there? That’s my shit.”
The next day an investigation was launched into Pauls recent behaviour and he was fired shortly there after.